We have officially entered the fall season of back to school, which for us, also means back to therapy. Last week Elliott got started on serial casting, something he has not had to do since December of 2021.
Serial casting is done on his right ankle and it helps to strengthen his leg muscles and increase his muscle tone in a fast and effective way. Post casting, he will be back in his daily brace which will continue to do its job of stabilizing and maintaining flexibility in his ankle on the day to day. When he goes through growth spurts & takes breaks from therapies, historically, these pretty significantly decreases his muscle tone. There are numbers and ranges that ankles can naturally flex to. The number goal for Elliott therapists try to maintain is between +10 to +15. When we started this casting process, he was measuring at a -2 which means they wanted his flexibility to increase close to 17 degrees.
All that to say, leading up to this first casting appointment, I was feeling more apprehensive than usual. We hadn’t done this process in so long that Elliott was much older and more active now to notice, and potentially be bothered by, this cast.
Elliott is also at an age where he can understand that he has Cerebral Palsy. Nathan and I have reached a pinnacle point, at a very early stage in parenthood, where we have to teach him hard life lessons about his perspective & differences, and also tow a fine line of remembering that he is a five year old. Elliott is deeply intuitive and so we are constantly finding the balance of being honest with him without crushing his spirit. We are teaching him now what CP means and that he is capable of anything, he may just have to work harder at it. We constantly have to show him that when life gets tough, or doesn’t feel fair, he can get through it and he come out the other side.
I knew that that casting had its limitations, specifically not being able to swim or take baths because it cannot get wet. It is also still hot enough out that our neighborhood pool is open– a main staple where we frequent often and Elliott loves it.
So putting a cast on his leg brings attention to all those points above, and he especially doesn’t like any limitations around it, meaning he deeply did not want to get this done, but he just plain had to do it.
As the appointment approached, I was hyper focused to make the day as fun as possible. I wanted to find joy points surrounding the casting experience. A joy point is something that we can clearly call a highlight and can stand out above the rest of the day.
In the morning before I had dropped him off at school, we had a plan for me to pick him up early so we could go swimming together and get lunch before the appointment. A sure fire joy point, I thought.
Our appointment was at 1:15. I picked him up at 11:45 in my bathing suit ready for a fun mommy and son date.
What really ended up happening was that we sat in the car in front of the pool while he screamed and cried and told me he didn’t want to go get into the pool. In fact, he didn’t want to do anything at all.
It was in this moment, that I had to readjust my expectations vs. my reality. Initially I felt frustrated and bummed. I was looking forward to an afternoon of fun with just Elliott and I, something that doesn’t seem to come as easily these days. But it was also in that moment that I was reminded of just how fragile my sweet boy was.
He was having BIG feelings about this casting appointment and he didn’t quite know how to express them other than sheer upheaval from the inside out. He was scared and sad and worried and it was all coming out at once. My heart broke for him and all I could do was hold him and let him cry it out.
I made a vow to myself a long time ago that I would always allow him the safe space to be able to feel really big, raw feelings, even if that means hitting and kicking objects in the moment, without consequence (as long as he is not hurting himself or others). It is after these huge emotions, that I remember just how much he really does have going on in his little brain.
We sat in the car, in front of the pool, for 45 minutes before he started to calm down. The “joy point” went nowhere near expected, but I wasn’t filled with disappointment. I was filled with gratitude that he was given the space to process what he needed to, in a safe and loving place, in order to take in the rest of the day with stride.
When his world feels out of control, which it often does- especially medically, I find it very helpful to give him some control back. I give him choices and power in his own voice and actions, especially after a true meltdown. It shows him he is heard, he matters, and that his feelings are ok and normal.
So, as I drove to the appointment, I asked him if he wanted to make a pitstop at Starbucks for a cake pop–which was actually the plan for the post appointment celebration. In his very excited yes, it was finally something that got him smiling a little bit. I let him choose everything that had to do with Starbucks– Do you prefer drive through or to go inside? Which cake pop sounds good? Do you want to help me pay? Where do you want to sit?
We sat silently and I rubbed his back while he ate his cake pop. I chose myself to see this particular moment, as my joy point.
The ironic thing, is that when we got to the appointment, he was fantastic. He sat still, cooperated with what the therapists were asking and picked out a pink cast with a temporary tattoo of a ninja turtle. #balance. The whole process took about 40 minutes and he ran out of the building not slowing down one bit.
We have now moved into the second week of casting, he has picked blue for this week and has gained about 4 degrees in his ankle flexion. With this weekly progression we should hopefully be done with the casting process in about three more weeks.
I have since thought long and hard about that day and it has made me wonder, is this theme of our expectations not meeting our reality more common than I realized? It happens often, to anyone, no matter who you are, or what you’re going through.
What is something in your life that hasn’t gone as expected and you have had to readjust, accept & move on?
If you live your life hoping for things to always go a certain way, you will almost always be let down. Learning this lesson may be hard, but it is important and sometimes that is all that matters. I am convinced that finding contentment in the process is what will ultimately bring joy and a life well lived with peace and happiness.
Elliott's Journey 